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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

When You Pay Attention...


After Andrew Noble rolled out of bed, he wiped the cold out of his eyes, then proceeded to stumble through the fog that was his morning routine. Noble jumped in the roaring shower, brushed with Aquafresh and got dressed, then headed downstairs to the kitchen to fetch a hot cup of coffee. Upon descending the last flight of stairs that lead to his sprawling living room, Noble saw his son’s Chock-Full O’Nuts exposed to plain and open view.

Pornstar Cherokee D’Ass was rain dancing on top of a muscular beast, wearing nothing but mustard suede Timbs, a red Yankee cap, and  gold Jesus piece. After a few moments, the zealous thug and his burly band of squeegee men ran Cherokee’s big black jeep through a peculiar carwash filled with flood lights, makeup artists and expensive video cameras. Within seconds, the exhausted Maybelline Dream was covered in a sticky amalgam of DNA proteins and soaking wet in molten body butters. Enveloped by the pastel glow of the 60-inch television screen, Junior’s crystal fist was tightly clenched. Still, it wasn’t hard to see through the transparency of his lustful intentions.


Nestled in the sweet and distinct comfort of a brand-new living room sofa, Junior pounded his puny pud until it cried pearly tears of pubescent joy. The erotic visual montage of fishnet stockings, delectable chocolate thighs, six-inch stilettos—and moist and tender vaginas creaming to be beaten by blazing bamboo cocks—left Junior’s visual cortex thoroughly drenched in an endless tsunami of punany. Junior was so wrapped up in the moment that he never bothered to notice that his dad was watching him from the stairway as he made passionate love to his palm.

The 42-years-old, Noble remembered what it felt like to be a 15-year-old boy with raging hormones. Nevertheless, he still resented the fact that his son had obtained a porno DVD and was watching it in his living room, in his house, under his roof. The nerve of that young punk! However, in the bat of an eye, Noble’s resentment turned into sheer guilt once he took another look at the restless television screen. Junior didn’t bring any pornography into the house. Mr. Noble left his porno disc in the DVD player last night and forgot to remove it after he had finished jerking off.

Noble’s wife Margaret is eight month’s pregnant with their third child. So rather than risk poking their unborn child’s eyes out in a cruel game of Peek-A-Boo, Noble decided to have a late night rendezvous with Pinky, Cherokee D’Ass, Ms. Cleo, and Mz. Booty in front of the family’s HDTV. Needless to say, that was a big mistake on Noble’s part because after he busted his nut he simply forgot about everything—all of his problems, all of his worries, the car notes, mortgage payments and the porno flick in the DVD player.


Scientific research has proven that testosterone—the very hormone necessary for higher brain function—is released with a man’s seamen whenever he ejaculates during a sexual orgasm.According to France’s National Center of Scientific Research, there is a strong correlation between the decrease of testosterone production in older men and their bouts with memory loss and dementia. The Society for Neuroscience in Washington D.C. has also reported that testosterone isn’t just the catalyst fueling the sexual libidos of both men and women. Apparently, it protects us from Alzheimer’s disease and renews our brain cells. Noble’s brain cells were all shot after last night, which explains why his son was jerking off to one of his favorite porno DVDs when he should have been tucked away in his little room with a cum-stained copy of Smooth Magazine.


Noble fled back upstairs and left his juiced-up son sprawled out on the family couch flying his little kite with his newfound lady friends. As Noble crept back up the steps, he thought about how he could have avoided all of the embarrassment by getting a wet and sloppy blowjob from his perpetually hungry wife. Like Amber Rose on horse tranquilizer, she would’ve gladly accepted Noble’s “gag order”. After all, one thing that Noble had learned from Margaret’s two prior pregnancies is that she’ll consume just about anything that is offered to her. It could be flame broiled piranhas at Benihana, or hot cock bursts of gaga. “Why the fuck did I leave that fuckin’ disc in the DVD player?” Noble thought to himself. “I really should have been paying attention. Now my son thinks that I watch porn. Fuck, I do watch porn, but that’s not the motherfucking point. Shit, what am I gonna do now?”

Maybe if Noble had looked to Junior’s Old Earth for sexual healing instead of offshore drilling with Pinky, he wouldn’t have made such a mess of his domestic environment. However, Noble DID pay attention. He paid attention to what he so desperately wanted while he was deep frying in the heat of last night’s mouthwatering moments. Noble pulled the crotch area of his imagination’s sex-stained thong to the side and inserted his throbbing DVD into her warm and creamy slot. Noble received instant gratification in the form of a brain-busting, toe-curling orgasm. The lightning bolts under heaven’s waters flashed with razor-blazed grenades like juicy raisins in dandelion baskets served by gorgeous sun maids.

Whether or not Noble should have been watching pornography in the first place is not for any of us to say. The moral validity of Noble’s personal choices are underscored by the fact that our minds are our wallets and that our attention, is without a doubt, our most valuable currency. When you pay attention, the universe always gives you what you paid for—nothing more, nothing less. Meta-physicist Phil Valentine has said more than once that “when you pay attention you pay the ultimate price,” so whatever we choose to pay for, we must make sure that it’s worth our while.

Whatever is of little importance in our lives must be pushed to the side so that we can martial all of our mental energy to focus on what is truly important. A lot of people are complaining that they’re having a hard time keeping up. No matter how much work they finish in a day their heads are hitting the pillow with so much more left undone. A twenty four hour day feels more like fourteen hours, now. However this is only because the energy fueling our collective awareness has been ramped up to a higher octave, which gives us the perception that time is moving faster than it ever was before. We do not move through time. Time moves through our minds. Both Left and Right Brain thought processes are melding together to facilitate the emancipation of God consciousness from the dank dungeons of duality.


The perceived acceleration of time is forcing us to pay attention to those things that are of immediate importance, and nothing more. Those of us who do not prioritize their lives properly are likely to be the very same ones with poor time management skills. This will be to our disadvantage if we do not make serious changes in our everyday lives. If we cannot manage our time, then time will swallow us whole like a veteran porn star swallows a penis. Once that happens we will feel compelled to come to our senses or perish. Although it may sound hard to believe, being consumed by time is hardly as sexy as it sounds.